Not since state Sen. Bill Eigel jump-started his gubernatorial campaign by promising, if elected, to use a flamethrower to incinerate books on the front lawn of the governor’s mansion has a Missouri politician put truth to power the way Attorney General Andrew Bailey did recently when he called his primary opponent a coward, a liar and Harvard-educated.
Bailey is a proud Mizzou alum. “M-I-Z, Z-O-U!â€
He first came to prominence a couple of years ago when he supported Gov. Mike Parson’s notion to criminally charge Post-Dispatch reporter Josh Renaud for notifying the state board of education that one of its websites could be manipulated to show Social Security numbers of the state’s teachers.
Our governor is a former sheriff and sees things through an investigative lens. If a reporter is so sure of this, ain’t that akin to a confession? He musta done it hisself!
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If you think so, sir, I think so, said Bailey, who was then Parson’s general counsel.
Grown-ups prevailed, and Renaud was not charged. But when my friend Roy “RINO†Blunt retired from the Senate and was replaced by Attorney General Eric “MAGA†Schmitt, whose singular accomplishment had been suing China for inflicting COVID on Missouri — no court date in sight for that trial — the governor appointed Bailey as A.G.
Bailey hit the ground running and went right after schools and medical clinics. That’s good politics in these strange times. It’s especially wise to target schools, which are always trying to indoctrinate our children and make them think they’re smarter than we are.
True story. I said something about George Washington to my granddaughter and she said, “Coach. He was a slave owner.â€
Are they teaching that in our schools? I should have called the A.G. I’m only half joking, I believe we have to judge people by the context of their times, not ours.
At any rate, Bailey has been pedal to the metal attacking schools, but even so, he has been challenged in the Republican primary by Will Scharf, who comes from the Eric Greitens coaching tree. You remember Greitens. Duke University. Rhodes Scholar. Navy SEAL. Everything about the dude screamed, “Elite! Elite!!â€
It was oil and water in Jefferson City when Greitens took over.
Because of his Greitens connection, the Harvard-educated charge against Scharf might stick. Another one of those smarties. Furthermore, Bailey’s campaign has suggested that Scharf might be a financial sophisticate. Bailey’s spokesperson called him “Wall Street Willy,†and Bailey said, “He needs go to back to New York with his Harvard education.â€
We do not take kindly to Wall Street sophisticates here in the Show-Me state. If you have not, at least twice, sent money to the widow of a Nigerian prince who is stuck in a refugee camp and would like to transfer $15 million to your account but needs $2,500 earnest money first, we are not going to trust you.
Oddly enough, we used to admire smart people. In 1956, Missouri voted for Adlai Stevenson over the popular incumbent, Dwight Eisenhower. We chose a nerdy college professor over a victorious general. Hardly anybody else did. Ike won reelection in a landslide.
As recently as a few years ago, Lindenwood University drew a nice crowd for a debate between two public intellectuals. Squaring off were Charles Murray, the conservative author of the controversial “Bell Curve,†and Robert Frank, a left-leaning economics professor from Cornell University. Murray had degrees from MIT and Harvard. Franks had his doctoral degree from Berkeley. Neither seemed ashamed of those credentials. I was the moderator but could barely keep up. All right, I could not keep up.
The experience of trying to moderate a talk between these two very bright men made me wonder, what does it mean to be really smart? Is it just easier to solve crossword puzzles? Can you read a room better than normal people? What is this thing called cognitive ability?
Let me tell you a secret about people in politics. Almost everybody is smart. Not geniuses, but smart. Everybody I have mentioned in this column is a smart person. The governor, Bailey, Schmitt, Blunt. Even Eigel. All smart people. They live in a very competitive world. The not-so-smart get weeded out early.
These folks are smart enough that when they do dumb things, they generally know they are doing dumb things. But public life has become theater. Quiet competence gets you nowhere. Do I think that Bailey, or Schmitt before him, were really concerned with what teachers were teaching in our public schools? No, I do not. Do I think the governor was anything more than a little miffed about the problems on that website? No, I do not. Do I think that Eigel would really burn books on the front lawn of the governor’s mansion? Well, yes, I do. He’s very ambitious. A flamethrower and some books could take a guy a long way in today’s America.
By the way, one of the few things Murray and Frank agreed upon was the problem of the growing egalitarianism of our elite schools. They used to just be for the rich. Now anybody who is super smart can get into one. So, these super smart kids meet at the elite schools and marry each other. It’s not healthy, the two intellectuals agreed. It would be better if some super smart kids were at the state schools and married pretty smart kids. We don’t want to concentrate the intelligence of the population into a limited number of families. It’s like the disparity in wealth except more insidious.
That was an interesting theory, but I now realize that it did not take into account that we, as a country, would turn away from intelligence. At least in politics, being smart is no advantage.
Josh Hawley is a perfect example. He never talks about Stanford or Yale Law. With his plaid shirts and his skinny jeans, he tries to look the part of a homeboy when he comes back to Missouri. Note to Josh: Missouri men don’t wear skinny jeans.
But let’s stick with Bailey and Scharf. With Bailey on the offensive, Scharf will have to face the big question head-on: Are you some kind of smart guy or what?
I mean, it’s out there. Harvard, Wall Street, New York. Do any of those names ring a bell, Mr. Scharf? Voters are going to want to know.
It’s an interesting race. Bailey, who grew up in ºüÀêÊÓƵ County, is nevertheless part of the Old Boys network. Scharf is of the new breed of right-wing brainiacs. Pick your poison, Dems.
Of course, there will be a Democrat on the ballot. Elad Gross is the likely candidate. Clayton High, Duke University, Washington University Law. He is a “public interest†lawyer who wants to establish the state’s first Civil Rights Division. He’d have been a great candidate in 1956.
Smart money says Bailey wins.