Rosemary Britts is a face of the coronavirus pandemic.
It’s a face of loss. Of pain. Of struggle, and, ultimately, resilience.
We spoke a few days after her husband died of COVID-19.
Monte Britts was 47.
“He was a gentle giant,†his wife says.
She last spoke to him — if you can call it that — in a FaceTime session from his hospital bed not long before he died. That is the thing about this pandemic that makes everything so different — the forced distance magnifies the sense of loss.
Not all that long ago, I was giving a talk to some young journalists, and they asked about the process of writing about death. I told them about the first tragic death I wrote about. It was a farm accident. A young boy — I think he was 12 — was driving the family truck on the farm to bring his father lunch in the field during harvest. He hit a bump, overcorrected, and flipped the truck. The boy died.
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Later that day, I spoke to his mother. I remember staring at the phone for what seemed like an hour before I could muster up the courage to call her. She thanked me. Sometimes, when people die, those close to them appreciate having somebody to talk to. That’s not always the case. But in that tragic death, like so many others, there were family members there for hugs, a funeral in a packed church where a community mourned together.
A couple of years ago, I attended the community remembrance of the 17 people who died in the duck boat accident at Table Rock Lake. The church at the College of the Ozarks campus was packed with hundreds of strangers who cried together, mourning their loved ones.
For Rosemary Britts, and others who have lost loved ones to COVID-19, the mourning is so much more lonely. There are tears, but no hugs.
“You can’t be there to hold their hands as they die,†she told me. “And after they’re gone, we can’t even have a regular funeral. Just the act of getting a hug is not there. It’s very difficult.â€
Britts is the executive director of the nonprofit Sickle Cell Association in ºüÀêÊÓƵ, so she’s used to dealing with a thorny health care issue that affects African Americans significantly, as COVID-19 has.
As of Thursday, when there were 102 reported deaths from the virus in ºüÀêÊÓƵ County, blacks were dying at a rate of 20 for every 100,000 people. That’s more than twice the death rate for whites in the county.
Rosemary has lived her entire life in and around Florissant, in north ºüÀêÊÓƵ County. Monte grew up in Black Jack. They met when she was in high school and he was in college; a friend introduced them. They had been married 23 years.
The couple raised their family in Florissant, where he worked as a financial analyst for a credit union and sold real estate on the side.
“He was always smiling,†Britts said of her husband.
Until the end.
Their last conversation was mostly one-way. Monte had been at Missouri Baptist Hospital since April 1, and on a ventilator almost immediately. They don’t know how he contracted COVID-19. The family had been following stay-at-home orders, and generally trying to do all the right things. He had been to the grocery store not long before he started developing symptoms.
Before he died, a nurse brought a phone into Monte’s room so Rosemary could talk to him over FaceTime.
“I let him know that I loved him, and couldn’t wait for him to get home,†she says.
He never made it. It’s the second loss in a year for the Britts. They lost one of their five children — their oldest daughter — seven months ago — to sickle cell disease.
Monte died right around the time some folks in parts of Missouri and around the country started clamoring for a reopening of the economy. There will be time for that, Rosemary says, but for large swaths of the country, this crisis is still all-consuming.
“It’s devastating to lose someone like this,†she says. “Being in a hurry to get back out in the community before we know much more about COVID would be a tragedy.â€
Friends of the Britts have started a to help the family through the crisis.
There will be a small service for Monte at Christ Temple Family Church on Monday. He was a trustee there. The Britts plan to livestream the service so others can pay their respects from afar.
“It’s an unsure time,†Rosemary says. “I stand on my faith that everything’s going to be OK.â€