Nearly every time my dad calls, he asks me about De Smet.
“How’s De Smet?†he’ll ask. “Are they winning?â€
It doesn’t matter what season it is. And it doesn’t matter that my father doesn’t know anybody at the Jesuit high school in Creve Coeur.
He went to Regis High School, the Jesuit high school in Denver, where both of us grew up.
I went to Mullen High School, the Christian Brothers high school in Denver.
They’re rivals. Well, not just rivals. Blood rivals. Denver’s version of De Smet vs. Christian Brothers College High here. In high school lore in Colorado, nothing matters more than a Regis-Mullen matchup. Back in our day (mine and my dad’s), they were all-boys high schools. Times have changed. They’re both co-ed now.
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Normally, I have no answer to the De Smet question.
Next time Dad calls, I will.
And it’s not a good one. For anybody.
Last week, it seems, Chaminade College Preparatory School’s boys’ hockey team defeated CBC in a playoff game.
The loss was seen as good news for De Smet, CBC’s rival.
A De Smet dad was so happy about the loss that he recorded a video for his son, who plays on the De Smet team. The dad sang the popular “na, na, na, na, hey, hey, hey, goodbye†riff known by every sports fan as a taunt after an opponent loses.
I’ve chanted that chant many a time.
To my dad, even.
When Mullen beats Regis in a big game, I’ll call him up. I’ll sing the song.
If Regis ever beats Mullen (it rarely happens), he’ll do the same to me.
But De Smet Dad took things too far. Way too far.
He inserted multiple four-letter curse words as a disrespectful takedown of his rival.
The video made it to Facebook, of course, and the internet took over.
Upset CBC parents shared the video. They discovered the De Smet dad is a local surgeon. They posted his name, and parents from the two schools started taunting each other on Facebook, taking one bad mistake and turning into so many others.
Eventually, De Smet ended up having to apologize for something a rogue parent did.
“This morning, we were made aware of a video circulating on social media that includes inappropriate and regrettable content. In no way does this video reflect who we are as a school or what we teach our students about character and sportsmanship,†the school wrote on its Facebook page. “The video was never condoned nor distributed by De Smet Jesuit High School. The individual who is responsible has apologized to all affected parties.â€
OK, so apologies are flowing all around.
That’s a good thing.
But what happens next?
These sorts of things don’t occur in a vacuum. The parent who first sent me a copy of the video is aware that once or twice a year I write about youth sports and how adults all too often set a bad example for our kids. I started doing so years ago when I met Doug Abrams, a law professor at the University of Missouri who coached hockey for more than 40 years. Each year, Abrams publishes a top 10 list — more of a bottom 10, really — of the worst examples of sportsmanship in youth sports in the country.
De Smet Dad may well be the leader in the 2019 clubhouse.
In this town, home of the annual , the most inspiring annual tribute to good sportsmanship in the country, we ought to know better. We ought to be better.
But all too often, we fail, and we ensure that a next generation will learn bad habits from us.
And in the world of social media, particularly in the Trumpian Era where bullying is back in vogue, an original sin is compounded several times before it makes its way around the world.
That’s why I won’t name the parent who embarrassed his family and his school, or link to his video. His 30-seconds of fame are over.
Hey, hey hey. Goodbye.
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