ST. LOUIS 鈥 Intimaa AbuHelou left Gaza last year to study public health here, dreaming of a job with the United Nations where she could help refugees like herself back home and around the world.
But now her future looks much more uncertain.
AbuHelou鈥檚 house in the Al-Nuseirat refugee camp was destroyed during Israeli airstrikes that flattened much of the surrounding neighborhood. Her parents, eight siblings and nieces and nephews were displaced to a U.N.-run school where they found shelter.
Her 63-year-old mother has been able to text her only three times over the past three weeks, as she has limited access to electricity. Phone calls won鈥檛 go through. AbuHelou鈥檚 sister, an emergency physician at Gaza鈥檚 largest hospital, updates her when she can between treating bombing victims. Each message feels like it could be the last.
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鈥淚 could sense it in my mom鈥檚 texts that she was scared,鈥 said AbuHelou, 27, in an interview. 鈥淭hat any given moment, whether they were intentionally targeted or not, that they may die.鈥
AbuHelou, a graduate student at 狐狸视频 University, came here to earn a master鈥檚 degree in public health after winning a prestigious exchange scholarship, which allowed her to leave the Gaza Strip, an impoverished 140-square mile area of about 2.3 million people long under a tight blockade by Israel and Egypt, even before the latest war.
For the last three weeks, she and other Palestinians with family in Gaza have been gripped by fear for their loved ones caught in the middle of a war between Israel and Hamas, the militant group that鈥檚 controlled the Gaza Strip since 2007.
On Oct. 7, Hamas launched a devastating attack on Israel, killing more than 1,400 and taking more than 200 hostages. Since then, Israel has dropped thousands of bombs on Gaza, killing more than 7,000 Palestinians, , though U.S. officials have cast doubt on the tally. Israel has also cut the strip off from basic resources and ordered more than 1 million Palestinians in the northern half of the strip to move south ahead of what Israel says will be a ground invasion.
Here in 狐狸视频, AbuHelou has struggled to process the news. The death toll in her homeland mounted each day, while protests at schools here and nationwide called on U.S. officials to end support for Israel鈥檚 airstrikes. AbuHelou has been a witness to four previous Israel-Hamas wars, but none more deadly than this one, as civilian areas and schools run by the United Nations have been hit.
鈥淚t鈥檚 hard being physically here, while my heart and my mind are with my family and my people who are being killed in front of the world,鈥 AbuHelou said.
A bakery, crumpled
AbuHelou was born in Al-Nuseirat, a refugee camp in central Gaza. Her parents鈥 families came to Gaza after they were expelled from their native villages, near what is today Be鈥檈r-Sheva, by Israeli Defense Forces that captured the territory in the 1948 Arab-Israeli war.
Her desire to study public health began during her childhood in Gaza, she said. After Hamas, which won legislative elections in 2006, seized control of Gaza in 2007, Israel and Egypt put the strip under blockade, controlling movement in and out of two crossings through a surrounding border wall. AbuHelou鈥檚 grandmother died of cancer after waiting a year for a permit from Israel or Egypt to leave the strip for medical treatment, she said.
In middle school, AbuHelou saw bodies in rubble while fleeing Israeli airstrikes that hit close to the school. At the end of high school, while waiting for the results of a college placement test, an Israeli airstrike hit her neighbor鈥檚 house, shattering the glass in AbuHelou鈥檚 home and injuring two of her brothers.
AbuHelou鈥檚 parents, who taught elementary and high school students at a United Nations-run school, prioritized education as a way out. In middle school, AbuHelou was selected for a United Nations-run educational exchange visit to Norway. In 2013, she won a scholarship to a two-month writing and exchange program at Iowa State University. Those experiences helped her win her current scholarship, which brought her to 狐狸视频.
To get here, she had to undergo a rigorous process. She applied for Israeli permission to leave the Gaza Strip for a visa interview at the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem, and she underwent interrogations by Israel, Hamas, and the Palestinian Authority officials at three separate checkpoints.
When she saw news of the group鈥檚 attack on Israel on Oct. 7, she was gripped by shock and fear, she said.
鈥淚 knew that this is going to lead to a war, and I anticipated the death and destruction that is happening now,鈥 AbuHelou said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 the people, civilians, the kids, the women are the ones paying the price.鈥
One day after the attack, she lost contact with her relatives when Israeli airstrikes struck telecommunications facilities in Gaza. She hoped the blackout would last just a few days. But it continued.
She found out her home was hit when her sister texted her. A few days later she was watching the news, and saw their hometown bakery, crumpled.
鈥淢y neighborhood was completely destroyed,鈥 AbuHelou said. 鈥淲hen I see the pictures I no longer recognize the streets.鈥
SLU faculty and colleagues have helped make AbuHelou feel welcome and supported, as has the local Palestinian-American community, she said. She still fears discrimination for speaking out in support of Palestine 鈥 but can鈥檛 stay quiet while her family is suffering, she said.
鈥淲e have to use our voices because voices in Gaza have been shut,鈥 she said. 鈥淲e just want this madness to end.鈥
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