September 11, 2001, was one of the best days of their lives.
I felt uncomfortable typing that sentence.
It could come off as disrespectful or tone-deaf. But the reality is, the sentence and its sentiment are true.
This is the story of the Stoyans, Michelle and Pete, who had their first child on September 11, 2001. His name is Parker. He’s a sophomore pitcher for the ºüÀêÊÓƵ University baseball team. He turns 20 on Saturday.
“The most difficult thing for us,†Pete said, “is juggling the fact that 9/11 means so much sorrow and pain for so many people, and for us, just personally, it’s one of the happiest days of our lives. Having to separate that has been very hard. We’ve always been cognizant of that, making sure we’re very respectful of the day, but also trying to make sure that our son knew that it was a happy day for us, as well, because he was born. It’s a tightrope you have to walk.â€
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Parker came into this world on the day the world seemed to stop. His lifespan has literally been post-9/11 America. He makes us realize how long ago 9/11 was — there’s a person now in his 20s who was born that day. And he’s a reminder that goodness sprouts even on the darkest of days.
“Parker is an incredibly hard worker, a dedicated student-athlete and a valued member of our baseball program,†SLU baseball coach Darin Hendrickson said. “He personifies what we look for in a player due to his passion of the game. We can’t wait to see what the future holds for him, on and off the field.â€
Michelle jokes that Parker didn’t have a say in the matter — their boy was going to be a ballplayer. Huge Yankees fans. In fact, Pete wanted to name his son P.J. Stoyan simply because it sounded like a good “baseball name.†But they had to allot actual names to the P and the J, so they came up with Parker and Jameson.
On the morning of September 11, 2001, Pete and Michelle arrived in the 6 a.m. hour at St. Joseph’s Women’s Hospital in Tampa, Florida.
They still remember the room. Bed to the right, TV to the left.
“We had the TV on when things started happening,†Pete said. “The first tower was hit about 8-something in the morning. At first, I didn’t know exactly what was going on. But as the news started coming in, my wife’s sitting in the hospital bed, with an IV in. I remember it distinctly.
“And then the second plane hit and things really started to develop. It was chaotic in the hospital, too. Everybody’s really impacted. … A doctor came in to check her vitals, but he kept looking back over his shoulder at the TV. And I remember noticing it a number of times to the point where I said to him, ‘Hey, listen, I realize there’s something really big going on over here. But this, right now, is really important, so I need you to pay attention to what you’re doing with my wife right now.’ I ended up turning off the TV in the room.â€
Michelle started having contractions. But Parker’s heart rate was rising startlingly — and he was turned inside her. The medical staff chose to do an emergency C-section that afternoon. And at 3:38 p.m., Parker Jameson Stoyan was born. Eight pounds, one ounce. Michelle’s birthday is 8/1.
On September 11, 2001, their lives changed forever. And their lives changed forever.
In the coming days, they’d turn the TV back on, “but I started to get depressed watching it,†Michelle said. “People would come and visit, but then that’s what they’d start talking about. And I’m like, ‘I know, but I just had a baby!’ …
“There were points where I felt like, ‘Oh my gosh, how am I going to handle raising a child and explaining it to him when these things happen?’ Like, how do you explain that and why it happens? Not that you even can explain why. But, you know, you still have to be a positive person and raise a child to not be fearful of things like that.â€
For years, Michelle would struggle even seeing airplanes. She’d drive down a road, spot one in the sky and “I’d just instantly get chills. All I picture is that plane is going to hit a building. … I think because when I had him, I was in the hospital and the TV being on, they kept replaying it and replaying it, and all I kept seeing was a plane hitting a building, a plane hitting the building.â€
For Parker’s first birthday, the parents discussed how to go about throwing a party on September 11, 2002. They delicately put together an invitation with a photo of both Parker and an American flag. Michelle’s friend penned a poem on there. It was a patriotic party. The cake and decorations were red, white and blue. But they decided that would be the last year his party was part-remembrance of the tragedy. They wanted the boy’s birthday to just be the boy’s birthday.
‘It’s never regret’
Michelle and Pete relish in being parents. They raised a good one. Parker is kind-hearted, the type of guy who is friends with all kinds of people at school. They had another child, too — their daughter, Ally, is a freshman at Louisiana State. And so, for the first time since September 10, 2001, the Stoyans are empty-nesters.
Here in ºüÀêÊÓƵ, Parker made the Atlantic-10 Conference Commissioner’s Honor Roll during his freshman year. He pitched sparingly for the Billikens, but has optimism for future seasons. He’s a tall lefty with a heck of a changeup. Parker follows his beloved Yankees from afar. When Parker and I spoke this week, he had just watched the Hall of Fame induction of one of his favorite players, Derek Jeter, the Yankee legend who retired in 2014, when Parker was 13. Jeter starred for the 2001 Yankees that brought joy to many Americans as they represented New York in the World Series.
“From a very early age, I was very aware of the day and its significance,†Parker said of 9/11. “A lot of people ask me, like, ‘How do you feel about it being your birthday?’ Or if I regret it or not? For me, it’s never regret. When it comes down to it, if it was my time to come into the world, then it was. It’s just a coincidence in this case. And really, as sad as the day is, life goes on.
“But that day, I never think of it first as being about myself. And I don’t think anybody else who knows me should think that, as well, besides maybe my parents, because I was kind of their gift on that day. The first thing I typically do is pay my own personal respects on a social media post to the people who are really hurting on this day.â€