Here’s a question to anybody involved with a team in any sport — from the Cardinals to college, from high school to a weekend adult league:
Does your team have a culture and environment in which a gay athlete would feel comfortable coming out of the closet?
If not, why not?
And in what ways could your team, or your kid’s team, be more compassionate and inclusive?
And if you worry that could fracture the locker room, how can we educate players so it wouldn’t?
These are important questions inspired by the historic anniversary at the NFL Draft — it was 10 years ago when an NFL team drafted Mizzou’s Michael Sam, an openly gay football player (whose college teammates knew he was gay and supported him, prior to his public announcement, which came after his college career ended).
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In the years following Sam getting drafted, two retired NFL players came out — former Dallas Cowboy Jeff Roher, who played for Tom Landry, and former New England Patriot Ryan O’Callaghan, who blocked for Tom Brady. And then, in 2021, active NFL player Carl Nassib announced he was gay. In Nassib’s first game that year, he made a strip-sack of Lamar Jackson to set up the Raiders’ win. And the next year, the Buccaneers signed the openly gay Nassib to a contract.
In football, Sam was the trailblazer. No, he never played in an NFL regular-season game. But he proved that a Southeastern Conference football team could come together and win with a teammate they knew was gay. Heck, he won the SEC’s co-defensive player of the year honors.
And in 2014, an NFL team (the then-ºüÀêÊÓƵ Rams) used a draft pick to select him. It was a huge news story at the time.
Sam helped redefine what it meant to be gay in America. He helped change at least some people’s perceptions of gay people in America. But as we honor Sam’s bravery this weekend, we also have to ask — just what is his legacy in sports today?
And how can modern Michael Sams (and more of them) find their place — and peace — on a sports team in 2024?
“A lot of them don’t see that they can (come out) — and it’s our job to keep telling them that they can and showing them that they can,†said Cyd Zeigler by phone.
Zeigler co-founded the website Outsports in 1999 — the journalism endeavor has told countless stories about LGBTQ+ athletes, coaches and team executives. Ziegler has provided people with a safe space to come out publicly — and he worked on a story with Sam, back in 2014, heading into the draft. To this day, Zeigler interacts with so many people in sports of all different levels.
So, I asked him: Regarding teams, what can players, coaches or parents do to create a welcoming environment, so if there’s a player on the team who wants to come out of the closet, the player can feel comfortable doing so?
“I think that 90% of it is casual language,†Zeigler said. “I’ll speak just for male athletes. Being in a locker room and hearing your teammates talk about women and sex with women, it turns out to be such an important bonding piece of conversation that when a gay athlete hears that, it’s not intentional, but they hear, ‘You don’t belong here.’ So tempering that in the locker room, and just with your friends, absolutely would help.
“If that’s not possible, because it might not be, it’s the inclusive message. … Being proactive in saying: ‘Everybody is welcome here. If you’re gay, it’s OK.’ So it’s shifting that the homophobic or hetero-centric language and then (creating) proactive, positive messages. And it’s hard for 16-year-olds to do either of those things. But you asked how to do it.â€
A stated that 4.7% of adult U.S. men identified as LGBTQ+. So, you’d have to think that in the NFL, NBA, NHL and MLB, there are more LGBTQ+ players than are currently out of the closet — since that number, of course, is zero.
And thus, on many teams at many levels — even ºüÀêÊÓƵ high school teams — there are likely closeted athletes who yearn to be accepted as their true selves, while playing the sports they love.
In the same era of Sam, a John Burroughs high school football star, Jake Bain, came out of the closet. His coach was John Merritt, who is now at DeSmet.
“The interesting thing to me,†Merritt said, “as I reflect on Michael Sam and Jake Bain is — both of them were supported by their teammates. And I think 10 years later, we’re still like that. Those two guys and others — I think about (rapper) Lil Nas X — have changed sort of the way things operate in our culture (to where) it’s not what it was. It just feels a little different. And I’m sure that there are lots of out players in high schools around the country. ... I think for the most part, their teammates are supporting them, which is neat.â€
I’ve always believed the biggest impact will be when a huge pro sports star comes out of the closet. When your favorite player — the dude whose jersey you wear — says, “Oh, by the way, I have a boyfriend.†Then, the average fan would have to question their own mindsets: “I adored this player yesterday — and he was gay then — so shouldn’t I continue to adore him?†It would help diminish stereotypes. It would help grow acceptance. And, of course, a star gay pro player would inspire so many people.
How do we know?
Because even Michael Sam did.
“There’s no question that he had an incredibly positive impact on the lives of a lot of people,†Zeigler said. “I remember hearing a story days after they drafted him about this kid, literally watching the draft with his dad, and coming out to his dad while watching Michael get drafted. …
“I think a lot of kids today (in 2024), they may not know who Michael Sam is, but the people who came out and that year (he was drafted), the next year or the year after that? Michael absolutely had an impact on them. No question.â€
After Sam’s Mizzou career — he had 21 career sacks — he was drafted in the seventh round by the Rams. He was cut before the 2014 season began. In 2014, he was briefly on the Cowboys’ practice squad. In 2015, he played one game in the Canadian Football League, before stepping away for mental health reasons.
In recent years, Sam has been a defensive line coach for teams in the European League of Football. Messages for interview requests weren’t returned.
But on April 8, Sam posted a photo on Instagram. He was holding the book “Dune†by Frank Herbert along with a white card. Sam captioned the photo: “My NFL draft card that I use as a book mark!!!â€
Indeed, the weathered, crinkled card stated: “With the 249th pick in the 2014 NFL Draft, the ºüÀêÊÓƵ Rams select Michael Sam, defensive end, Missouri.â€